A few weeks ago I came across some research that I keep coming back to in my mind.

One of the strongest predictors of success later in life wasn't a certain sport, academic program, or extracurricular activity. It was something much more ordinary: helping with chores from a young age. In fact, one long-term study found that children who started participating in household tasks around ages 3 and 4 had better outcomes as young adults than those who didn't begin helping until much later. More recent research has found similar benefits, linking chores in early childhood with greater confidence, prosocial behavior, and self-competence.

Right now, having my boys "help" often makes my life harder. At 4 and 2 years old, they aren't exactly speeding things up. I can clear the table faster by myself. I can load the dishwasher better by myself. I can fold laundry in a fraction of the time... and in complete silence. 😂

But that research reminded me that the goal isn't to get the chores done as quickly as possible. The goal is to teach them that they're valuable contributors to our family.

So lately I've been inviting them into the work. They clear their plates after meals. My oldest helps load dishes into the dishwasher. They water the plants, throw away trash, put away their clothes, and help move laundry from the washer to the dryer. They feed the dog.

Right now, it's still fun and novel. They race to see who gets to help. I know that stage won't last forever. But I'm hoping the habits will. More than raising kids who know how to do laundry or unload the dishwasher, I want to raise boys who naturally look around and think, How can I help? That's a skill that will bless their future roommates, coworkers, spouses, and families far more than a perfectly folded towel ever could.

I'd love to hear from those of you a few steps ahead of us. What chores have worked well for your family? And if your kids are still little like mine, maybe this is the encouragement we both need to embrace the slower, messier process of teaching them to help.