One of the most common themes I see young parents asking about on social media is friendship. We’ve written before about making friends and being a good friend, but lately I’ve been reflecting on how friendships really do have seasons.

Of course, we all need one or two close friends who can walk with us in the ups and downs of every season. But the reality is, many of our friendships won’t look like that all the time. Life brings shifts—new babies, heavy work or travel schedules, family struggles, illness, or simply the demands of parenting. During those times, even the best of friends might turn inward, show up less, or initiate less. And that’s okay.

What I’ve learned is: don’t give up on those friendships. Ideally, when one person is in a hard season, the other can lean in and carry more of the load. But often, as parents, our hard seasons overlap—and that just means there may be a gap or a pause in the rhythm of the friendship. That pause doesn’t make the friendship less valuable.

In fact, research backs this up: studies show that friendships are remarkably resilient to lapses in communication. One study from the University of Kansas found that time apart doesn’t necessarily diminish the quality of a close friendship—it often just picks up right where it left off when both people have the capacity again.

I’ve been practicing this myself: sending a quick text to a friend when they come to mind, even if it’s been months since we last connected. Sometimes it leads to a coffee date, other times just a warm reminder that we’re still here for each other. One of my closest friendships went through years of this—she was finishing med school in Hawaii while I was moving and having two kids. Our friendship looked different during those years, but it was still real, and now that life has shifted, we’ve reconnected in a deeper way.

So here’s my encouragement: show grace to your friends. Remember that friendships can stretch, bend, and even go quiet for a season without breaking. And when you have the chance, reach out. You built the friendship for a reason—and sometimes a simple “thinking of you” is all it takes to bring it back to life.