I was talking with a friend recently about one of those big, unanswerable questions: how do we know if we're parenting the way our kids actually need us to parent them? The truth is, it can change moment to moment. Do I let my child melt down in my lap in the middle of the grocery store? Do I calmly talk them through their emotions? Do I follow through with taking away toys until they've cooled off?

In those messy moments, I remind myself that as long as I'm rooted in patience, peace, grace, and (most importantly) love, there's really no "wrong" choice. Sure, sometimes later I realize I could have been more gentle or understanding. But parenting gives us endless chances to self-correct. If my heart is filled with stress, anxiety, frustration—or let's be honest, flat-out annoyance—my kids will feel it. So I ask myself: what do I need right now in order to show up better for them in the next moment?

Sometimes that means taking a deep breath. Sometimes it means carrying a kicking, screaming toddler out of Target while abandoning a full cart. Sometimes it means giving in and ordering DoorDash instead of making the dinner I swore I'd cook. Lately, when I'm overstimulated during the dinner-to-bedtime chaos but still want time with my kids, we go for a drive. I get fresh air, they're strapped in, and everyone survives. It might not be their dream activity, but it helps me empty out the hard stuff and refill with the good.

I want my kids to see more of the good and less of the bad. Even if my "good" isn't exactly what they need in the moment, it's still better than my "bad." And the same goes for you: do what you need to do to fill your heart with love, joy, peace, and patience. When we parent from that place, we really can't go wrong.