Lately, I've noticed a lot of conversations about how the best marriages and friendships are the ones where people anticipate each other's needs. The idea is that if someone really knows you, they should just know what you need before you even have to ask. And while I think that's a beautiful gift when it happens, I've also realized it's not the healthiest expectation to build our relationships on.

One of the best things Daniel and I have learned in our marriage is to simply tell each other what we need. Sometimes that sounds like, "I need you to take the kids outside for 30 minutes." Sometimes it's, "I need the kitchen cleaned up before I can really relax." And sometimes we don't even know exactly what we need. We just know what we’re feeling. In those moments, I've learned it's okay to say, "I'm overwhelmed," or "I'm feeling anxious," or "I'm having a hard day." Giving the people who love us a window into what we're experiencing is so much better than expecting them to read our minds.

The flip side is just as important. When someone you love tells you what they need, believe them. You don't have to fully understand why they need the house organized a certain way, why they need an hour alone, or why something that seems small to you feels big to them. You simply have the opportunity to love them in the way they've asked to be loved.

I've found that the healthiest relationships aren't built on mind-reading. They're built on honest communication, humble listening, and people who are willing to respond with grace. So this week, here's my encouragement: don't make the people you love guess. Tell them what you need. And when they tell you what they need, do your best to meet them there.